It's Not Your Fault

It is not uncommon for parents of a child who has just been diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) to blame themselves…or each other. Worries about everything from that glass of wine mom drank before she knew she was pregnant to that chemical plant dad worked in for a couple of years are dug up and thrown on the table, a frantic attempt to answer the questions “Why?” and “How?”

Please remember: It is not your fault. It is not your partner’s fault. What you did or didn’t do earlier in your lives, whether your child was “wanted”, how permissive or strict you were with your child, how much you loved or cuddled your child…none of that has any connection with your child having an ASD.

Whatever genetic and/or environmental factors play a role, they are as yet unknown, and you certainly had no control over them whatsoever. All you can control is what you do next. You can educate yourself, make treatment decisions, and advocate for your child, all while taking care to preserve your own mental health.