Bullying and ASD

Hi travisnana. I am so sorry to hear of your grandson's difficulties. I have witnessed this set of circumstances myself too many times: a child on the spectrum who is easy to upset is provoked on purpose...and the kids who did it, with full intent, face no consequences. (In our article, the kids who are provoked until they blow and do something aggressive or otherwise not acceptable are called "bully-victims.") It is terribly unjust, and devastating to the bewildered child with ASD who often feels badly about the blow up, but even worse about the fact that the "mean kids" who targeted him or her seem to suffer no consequence whatsoever.

We are working on an IAN survey about bullying, and believe me, we will include some questions about this topic.

Hello I am a former teacher and now I have three children. My son has not ASD, but his behavior is similar to the behavior of children suffering from this disease. I as a parent should was to organize the "Battle Field" in School to protect your child from bullying classmates. I fully support your words. Despite the facts that you talked about American traditional school, all your words suitable to describe the situation in the Russian school, too. More than once I witnessed the abuse, and I was seen that teachers did not pay attention to it. Frankly, I did not missed no one of such violations. Once, I organized his own investigation with the assistance of the director, because of this I had some complicated relationship with teaching staff. It is believed that the child should be transferred to a special school. That is correct. But there are situations, as in Russia, when there is no such school and the child continues to attend the same school. He is exposed to humiliation and suffering greatly from this. These children have bad marks and suffer from nervous diseases. As a result, the child may be to become a bad pupil, even if it is not. When I was a teacher, I often discussed the problem of bullying with the Directors and teachers. I support your statement that the teaching staff is able to cope with bullying at her school. Often need only one thing - the attention to a problem child. And then not have to use drastic measures, such as transfer to another school. But who wants to take extra care? Again, I sure the bullying in schools is the result of imperfections in the educational system and of imperfections in society.
Best regards.

Sergei, thank you so much for your post. I am so sorry to hear that you have the same difficulties in Russia with bullying. It is so terrible that children who are already different, and have to try so hard to succeed at school, are then tormented in this way. How can they learn in such an environment? And how can they become able to interact socially when other children are being cruel?

Thank you, Connie, for the sympathy. Actually, deal with this problem is not difficult. Some of the advice was to given at your forum (thanks), and I will use them. Every parent has his own set of methods on how to protect your child in school. If not complicated for you, we may transfer personal experience, and together we can win it then. The problem is that adults often do not want to believe that their children are able to offend someone. When the bullied child with ASD, this is no joke, and a crime. Kids do not realize it, but their parents should understand. I think we should tighten the parents' responsibility for the actions of their children. Next, you say right, that must be hold school meetings to talk about children with ASD and about problems. And then, parents will hold a conversation with their children. Finally, we must do special schools, where children with the disease could to feel comfortable around children like them. In the extreme case, it is necessary to organize separate classes. If society does not want to understand and help to children with ASD and to their parents, then this society must be somehow separated against these children, not to make them worse. My opinion is not undisputed. Let us offer other options. Thank you.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Sergei. It is clear that you are a very good advocate for your child.

Connie (IAN Staff) wrote:

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Sergei. It is clear that you are a very good advocate for your child.

Thanks for a good grade. But I must be the advocate of their children, I'm their father. I encourage parents to be active and not afraid of conflict with the administration of school. I remain a member of your society. Thank you very much.