Explaining HFA to peers in classroom

My 8-year-old son has HFA. He has always been in mainstream classes and is very intelligent. He is also beginning to notice lack of friends. Other children do like him but he does tend to be a loner at recess, etc. One of the things that make him stand out is the fact that he does stim (hand flapping) at times of excitment. He also will still cry over the "little" things at times.

Here's the question. Obviously other children know there is a difference and at this age some avoid him becuase they just don't understand his behaviors. Does anyone know of any type of program, DVD, etc. that could be used in a classroom setting to introduce HFA to his peers so that they have a better understanding and hopefully will reach out to him a little more.

Is this even a good idea?? I just feel like the younger he is the better off he will be if he can establish at least some type of friendships.

I really need some advice here and I welcome ANY and ALL input!!!

Thanks

I faced the same issue with my son several years ago. As I recall, the guidance counselor gave a talk on autism to the classes he would be in. They did NOT identify my son as having it, or point him out in any way, although frankly I think they could have. (Who is anybody fooling? Of course, they kids are going to say, "Wow, that sounds like so-and-so, doesn't it?") They presented this material when my son was not there. I think they used the idea of a "sixth social sense" that some people do not have, and how you can help friends like that. The idea was that blind people do not have the seeing sense, deaf people do not have the hearing sense...and autistic people do not have the social sense. Autism is hard to explain to people, and so they used these parallels to try to get the point across.

Thanks for the info SaraB. After speaking to the school to see if this could be done I also planned to talk to my son to see how he would feel about us explaining autism to his friends. I'm like you . . . we're not fooling anybody here, so if everyone is in agreement I was thinking in terms of identifying him as the one in hopes that others would reach out to him. Is this a bad idea?? I know a lot of the children his age and at this point I could see some that would really try to include him. They already know to watch out for him and "keep up with him".

It was just a few months ago that we talked about autism with him which he handled very well. He is so eager to learn anything and everything about social skills. He says he wants to "learn more so that he can make friends."

I still struggle with the same question: announce and explain or don't. Mostly, I've found it better to announce and explain. Again, it's not like these kids can fake it. In most circumstances, I think it's better that their difficulties are understood. Every person who learns about ASD is one more person out there who at least kind of gets it, right? I actually went and explained autism spectrum disorders to my son's 7th/8th grade Sunday school class one day when he was sick and not there, for example.

This issue is always difficult, though, and I guess it always will be. When they arrive in the workplace, they'll have the same issue again: disclose or not? Hope for accommodation and understanding (and the protection of the law) or assume you're better off not telling? I'm hoping that as more and more people gain an understanding of autism, we can place our bets more and more on the side of accommodation and understanding.

I'm curious if any of you have TSS, BSC, ST, OT, or Pt work with your child at school. If so how does the teacher incorporate them into his/her classroom? there may be other children working with these folks in your child's class. If so, and the child's parent has told you this. They may want to work with you on a presentation. The important point is to create a more accepting social atmosphere that is less stressful for all the children in the class. No child is perfect. However, if realistically you don't think this supportive enviroment will be the outcome you might reconsider. Also, just to give you a bit of hope, when I taught preschool often I paired children for social acheivement from peer learning. rarely, did parents realize it. Obviously, I was not goinbg to disclose information about another child in the class to a parent, but that did not change the fact that I was conciously building the group's dynamic. Your child may be getting more support from his/her teacher than you know.