Adult Child (PLEASE HELP)

My son is 20 years old and has been acting out severely. For years his grandparents have let him get by with anything. Now it has got so out of control that they do not want him to come and visit for the weekend. So this has throw him off his routine. If you told him to do something he want

For example to get out of the shower he will not we must keep going into bathroom and telling get out and get dress. When he gets mad he curse you and will not do anything you ask him to do. In the morning I wake him up and he will say that he will not get dress. I live in Louisiana and can not find anyone that can help me with the problems I am having.

Hi Tonja, and welcome to IAN.

I'm so sorry to hear what a difficult time you and your son are having at the moment. It is especially difficult to live with and help an individual with autism if they are being aggressive or uncooperative with you, all the more so if they are physically big (as I assume your 20 year old must be).

I do not know your son's level of functioning, but no matter what it is, it may be that he needs an assessment of his needs by a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, at this point. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, which can help modify his behavior, or medication, that can help with his irritability and explosive mood, are only two of the things that might be considered.

You may also want to contact your local chapter of the Autism Society of America. Like Autism Speaks, ASA is beginning to have more of a focus on adults with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). (An entire generation of children on the spectrum is growing out of childhood, so adult issues are on everyone's mind.) At the local ASA chapter you may find people who know of good mental health professionals in your area or other helpful local information.

Louisiana chapters of ASA are listed here: http://209.200.89.252/search_site/chapter_list.cfm?program_name=&state=LA

You may also want to read our article, "Red Flags: When To Take Your Child with Autism to a Psychiatrist." Although it if focused on younger children, it could definitely apply to older ones, too. You can find it here: http://www.iancommunity.org/cs/therapies_treatments/child_psychiatry_and_autism

In the article, some "red flags" are listed. These include:

Safety!

An increase in the child's episodes of loss of control

Appearance of physical aggression toward self or others

Verbal escalation that evolves into uncontrollable screaming

Prolonged verbal and physical rages

Fear is another primary motivating factor. Are you fearful of the child and his or her behavior with siblings? Is the hair on the back of your neck standing on end when the child's behavior escalates? Do you ever wonder how long you can go on living like this?

I hope this information proves helpful, and wish you and your family a better situation soon!

Does he have a reinforcement schedule set up? Is there something he loves more than anything or something he likes to do, go to the park, the mall, the zoo? etc These could be used as a reinforcement for carry out task or request.I would have to know more about his schedules, and how you have been getting him to carry out a task?