how do people feel about asd kids repeating kindergarten ?

I was told at my son iep meeting least year that it would be no problem for my son to repeat kindergarten next year if that is what i wanted. Know I have been told by school personal everyone except his teacher that they want to pass my son to first grade. Even though I was told by these same people that he is not ready for first grade!!!!!!!!I,M THINKING ARE YOU PEOPLE CRAZY. The response was thats what iep's are for making school easier for your son with an asd. I was told a bunch of bull about if my son repeats kindergarten he will fall behind by 3rd grade, be depressed,drop out of school,and blame me all for this. Again are these people crazy? Nothing like intimidating or trying to intimidate the parents.Please share yor story!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi almommy, and welcome to IAN.

It sounds like the idea that you might consider having your child repeat Kindergarten came as a surprise to you, so it's odd that the IEP team phrased the question as though it was an idea coming from you! It does make me wonder: does the IEP team think repeating might be a good idea?

It might be worthwhile to say to them: "I wasn't considering having him repeat. Since you've brought it up, though: Do you see any advantages for my child if he repeats Kindergarten? Do you see any disadvantages?" This way you can see if there was some misunderstanding - like, maybe they really thought you were thinking this, but they were not. Or, if they were thinking this, it might be helpful to get at the thinking behind the suggestion to see if you agree with it or not.

It can be a real struggle trying to decide whether to "keep a child back," especially if they are ahead in some ways, behind in others. Most children on the autism spectrum are socially and emotionally far behind their peers, and that only becomes more acute when they hit late elementary school. Some are also academically behind, either because of cognitive difficulties or other issues that interfere with learning (like hyperactivity or inability to focus or anxiety).

Just to share, I actually decided differently for each of my own children: I let my child with Asperger's go ahead and NOT repeat. He was very socially behind, but academically fine and also physically huge. He would've been a giant kid in Kindergarten had I held him back.

My daughter, who does not have autism but some learning issues, repeated Kindergarten. She was simply not ready for first grade after only one year of Kindergarten. This has turned out just fine for her, and she is a very happy 5th grader now.

I hope other parents will share their stories, too. The main thing to keep in mind, though, is that each child is different. Each has his or her own gifts and challenges, and develops on his or her own timetable.

I hope you are able to work this out soon. When decisions need to be made, but have not been made yet -- that is often a very hard time. It is generally a relief once the decisions have finally been made and a program put in place.

Quite frankly this was never presented to me as an option. Julian was "promoted" to the first grade autistic class. He is partially potty trained, but saves bowel movements for home where he promptly soils his pants.He is still nearly completely non verbal and has very little reciprocal communication. He IS very bright, but was not able to independently trace his name until the end of his first grade year. He can match up groups of objects to numbers up to 10 and can match letters to objects starting with that letter, but socially is lagging. And he will again be "promoted" to second grade. I wouldn't care if he didn't graduate until he was 19 and would prefer emphasis on social skills, communication, and behavioral issues rather than intensive focus on academic development. Until those issues are adequately addressed, then I question whether aquired skills can be empirically demonstrated.

Welcome to IAN, dtaylorp.

I think many parents would agree: too large a focus on academics (which schools understandably tend to have considering the larger context) seems misplaced when a child's needs in the areas of social understanding, communication, or behavior management are not adequately met.

Just a reminder: any parent who feels the program being offered is not meeting the child's educational needs can call an Individualized Education Program (IEP) meeting to discuss whether priorities in the IEP are set up in the best way possible. For example, if problem behaviors are interfering with learning, the number one goal for a certain period could be working on improving those by developing and implementing a behavior plan of some kind. If frustration over not being able to communicate needs is interfering, the emphasis could be placed on working on that. Needs are often varied and many, and it is not always easy to know how to work on everything at once, but a parent certainly has the right to have their opinion on the matter heard. (Sometimes parents even hire advocates to come with them to an IEP, especially if they feel the school is just not getting what they are saying, or is tuning them out.)

Hi, Almommy. We went through the kindergarten decision with one of our children with AS. He was obviously behind his K classmates behaviorally, but way ahead academically. I fully expected the school to retain him for a second year of K, but instead they promoted him to 1st grade based on the fact that he tested as highly gifted.

That fall, after about 2 weeks in first grade, the school suggested sending him back to K for the rest of the year. So we did that. About a month before the end of the school year (this was the 2nd time he was going through K), the school suggested sending him back to 1st grade for a couple of weeks and then promoting him to second grade. In effect, he took K twice, but skipped (most of) 1st grade.

2nd grade was an up and down experience until we moved to a different state. The schools' educational styles were significantly different and our son fell apart. Nonetheless, he completed 2nd grade and was actually transferred to the district's full-time gifted program for 3rd grade. That was a total disaster.

About that time we learned that he had AS, but this was years ago, and the school wasn't at all prepared to educated people with high-functioning autism. So we homeschooled him through 5th grade. Then, wanting him to have more time to prepare for junior high, we put him back into public school, but had him repeat 5th grade.

He is currently almost 18yo and about to finish his Junior year in high school. However, we've arranged for him to spend two more years in school (for a total of 5 years of high school) to give him additional time to mature prior to leaving the public school setting. He will be almost 20 by the time he graduates. I think that by that time, he will be emotionally and behaviorally about on a par with a typical 15yo. He's still going to need our support, but he'll have a reasonable chance of being able to function at college or at a job.

As you can see, we tried many different things with our son. When he was first in K and we didn't know he had AS, academics was the most important thing to us, but his immature behavior and poor social skills interfered. As a 5yo, he was behaving more like a 3yo. You wouldn't expect a 3yo to be able to function successfully in K or 1st grade, By the time he was in 3rd grade, he had come forward to the point that he was behaving like a 5 or 6 yo. Again, a typical 5yo would really struggle in a 3rd grade classroom. It just didn't work.

My experience has been that these kids do make progress behaviorally, but it's delayed when compared to their typical classmates. You get the best results by adjusting their school environment to support a child of their behavioral age. That may mean they need an aide to enable them to be in class with their age peers, or it may mean they need to be in a separate program. Repeating classes is another way to buy developmental time. At the same time, a good educational program will meet the child's educational needs too. Ideally, balancing the child's social, emotional, and educational needs is what a good IEP will do, but it's complicated. And every child with an ASD is different from every other child. It's not a one-size-fits-all disability, so you're going to need to work with your child's school to get the best balance you can for your individual child.

Best of luck.
Sue

Hello there almommy,
seems we all have come across this at some point as did I. I also had my concerns for him to go on to the first grade.
My son was in the mainstream class and I had a fight all year round about his academics to me being successful and recieving his FAPE education or not.
To make a long story semi short,the teacher proposed to me he wasnt at grade level,he was where he should be in the beginning of the year although she kept telling the IEP team all year he was at or approaching. At this time we didnt have AUTISM diagnosis just ADHD and PDD-NOS. When it came time to determine this I wanted my son held back.
He wasnt ready maturely,developmently,socially,and had lost his self esteem and confidence due to he knew or had pointed to him he couldnt do this and that. Then came name calling. He is high functioning.

I faught for him to be held back had district there and pleaded my case as an exception. If done early on it wont have an effect on them socially. It is when they make friends,social groups ect. where this can be harmful.

This year since he repeated he is getting the repitition and is doing better in all areas. Academiclly,socially, gaining his self esteem and confidence back. I also had them give me a boundry exempt due to the lack of they had done all year and the stress and frustration it put on him. They wanted to tell me what is best for my son and made it worse.

It all comes down to knowing what will work for your child and if you feel hed benefit from this. You as a parent and main caregiver to him you can put in a request for this (written) if you feel is right decision for your child and prove your case.
They dont have that right and tried telling me the teacher had more right and decision over me when she suggested it in the first place.

I would not set my son up for failure or let him get swept under the rug. He has the right to have a fair chance. I felt if he was more caught up academiclly he would have this and given more of a chance socially,mentally,emotionally,and developmentally as well.
Kinda like a new start. last year was trial and error,finding out what worked and his education was sacrificed due to this so we finally got it and are implementing it this year.
All about making the transition better and easier and welcomed by the other students so to say. If he was to go in to first grade not knowing the basics to read phonics and letter identifing they will more than likely be teased and singled out of the group activities doing such that is above them that can be detrementle socially in the long run.
Every school,child,situation is different just like ASD. You have to be the best judge in this situation in my case it was and is a proven fact it can be done sucessfully and I want my son with ASD do be as sucessful as he can. I dont want something that I did or didnt do hold him back. What I have learned is they can surprise us dont underestimate them.
So good luck with the decision it can be done especially if all supports are in place. This year he has an awesome G.ED teacher and he is also in Autism class half day for more academic support and in the General ed class for social supports and means. they both give him a release from both environments. One class he can relate to the kids in some ways and with the general ed he has modeled behaviors with the kids with no ASD. They compinsate each other he is able to have both worlds so to speak. Again good luck and it is a bumpy road but worth while Having ASD isnt easy to begin with.