anger-meltdowns help!

Since school has let out for the year I have had more anger issues with my son then before it seems that any little thing his sister says to him will trigger one of these spells or meltdowns, (I don't know what to call them) and he will storm into his room and slam stuff in there or he will go out side and grab whatever he can find that is inanimate and hit the ground with it or some other inanimate object and yell or scream at the same time. This is worrying me because I am scared that his temper will get out of control and he will hurt either himself or swing on his sister and get hurt(she will fight back and she out weighs him by at least 150 lbs) or one of the grandkids will mistakenly get in the way and get hurt. How do I steer this into some thing productive or at least not distructive or detremental either to himself or others. He is 12 now will be 13 in Nov. I have asked Judevine a local support group for help and followed what they sujested but it dose not seem to phase him. I don't know if counseling will help or not and I am in financial straights so gas is hard to come by and I can;t use the state transportation to get him to a counseler due to the fact I care for my mother who is 90 and has to use a wheelchair.So any help would be a great help. Barrelmom

Hi BarrelMom.

I'm so sorry to hear about your son's meltdowns. Based on research, and on parents' stories of their experiences, there are few things harder to cope with than these explosive behaviors.

I have heard from many families who report these outbursts getting worse right around late elementary or early middle school. Factors that may be involved include the increasing complexity of the child's social world (and being left behind by his peers as far as social understanding), puberty, and increasing academic demands. You were also saying that the meltdowns increased after school let out - when the daily routine was broken. Many people with autism have a hard time with transitions, or changes in routine. If they are already having a hard time, such a change can be further destabilizing.

(In fact, trying to create a routine, with a picture or written schedule to go along, is something a lot of families do, especially during those "blank" summer months. Many families also advocate for "Extended Year School" -- that is, special ed authorized summer school -- on the basis that the child needs the routine and continued social skills training, etc., in order NOT to lose the gains he or she has made the previous year.)

Of course, any other stressors also make it harder: bullying, family conflict, or anything else that would be upsetting for any child are not going to help matters, and addressing any regular-life issues can be part of the solution, too.

In any case, if these meltdowns are getting to the scary point, you may need to consider medication. I know this is something many people hope not to have to do, but again - there comes a point. We have an excellent article on how to evaluate when you may have reached that point here: http://www.iancommunity.org/cs/therapies_treatments/child_psychiatry_and_autism

One of the "red flags" the author mentions is fear over the child's behavior. She writes, "Are you fearful of the child and his or her behavior with siblings? Is the hair on the back of your neck standing on end when the child's behavior escalates? Do you ever wonder how long you can go on living like this?"

Other kinds of intervention, like social skills training or another kind of behavioral program with an anger management component, can help a lot. Generally, medication is recommended if the child is having such a terrible time regulating himself that he can't benefit from other things until he's more able to NOT meltdown so easily and often.

Many times, medication is needed for awhile, but not permanently.

Other articles that may be helpful are:

IAN Treatment Report on Medications: http://www.iancommunity.org/cs/ian_research_reports/treatment_series_medication

"Can Antipsychotic Medication Help My Child?" (the only FDA approved medication to treat "irritability and agression" in children with autism spectrum disorders at this point is Risperdal, an antipsychotic medication): http://www.iancommunity.org/cs/therapies_treatments/antipsychotics_malone

Meltdowns are so hard on everybody in the family. I hope things get better for you and your family soon.

It did sound like resources are an issue - if you need help finding assistance, you might want to contact the Autism Response Team from Autism Speaks and/or your local chapter of the Autism Society of America.

Autism Reponse Team:
888-AUTISM2 or familyservices@autismspeaks.org

ASA chapters: http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=community_chapters

My daughter was famous for her meltdowns and considerable aggression. She was also a runner. I do believe some behavioral therapies work, but we first needed to get to a point where her meltdowns were no longer life threatening. At first we used seroquel with some effect, then we did a chelation and although it did not solve every issue, she is off of seroquel and responding to cbt. Good luck to you. Its an awfully scarey time you are going through.

Hi evvie'sdad, and welcome to IAN.

Just to clarify, was "cbt" cognitive-behavioral therapy? Or something to do with chelation?

CBT is cognative behavioral therapy. I found for my daughter it worked where aba did not. Until we got the meltdowns under control, however, nothing worked. The use of chelation therapy, although not approved by mainstream psychiatry, turned my daughter around completely. Her aggression toward peers and teachers has dropped from 5 or 6 incidents a day to about 1 a week.