It's Criminal Assault, NOT Bullying

As an education advocate, I counsel parents of disabled students who find themselves the victim of physical and verbal attacks to reject the term BULLYING and address the issue as a *criminal*assault* and demand that the school take action against the instigator.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry notes that, 'Children who are bullied experience real suffering that can interfere with their social and emotional development, as well as their school performance. Some victims of bullying have even attempted suicide rather than continue to endure such harassment and punishment.' Some have been successful.

http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/bullying

They continue with, Children and adolescents who bully thrive on controlling or dominating others. They have often been the victims of physical abuse or bullying themselves. Bullies may also be depressed, angry or upset about events at school or at home. Children targeted by bullies also tend to fit a particular profile. Bullies often choose children who are passive, easily intimidated, or have few friends. Victims may also be smaller or younger, and have a harder time defending themselves.

Unfortunately, the schools ignore this reality and apply the same rules to victim and victimizer alike, often enforcing zero tolerance policies when they witness only the retaliation and punish only the recipient of endless harassment when they attempt to defend themselves.

The usual suggestions include,

* Don't encourage your child to fight back. Instead, suggest that he or she try walking away to avoid the bully, or that they seek help from a teacher, coach, or other adult.
* Help your child practice what to say to the bully so he or she will be prepared the next time.
* Help your child practice being assertive. The simple act of insisting that the bully leave him alone may have a surprising effect. Explain to your child that the bully's true goal is to get a response.
* Encourage your child to be with friends when traveling back and forth from school, during shopping trips, or on other outings. Bullies are less likely to pick on a child in a group.

These efforts may help some of the non-disabled children, but they fail miserably when the victim is developmentally disabled.

* Walking away indicates victory for the instigator, empowering them to do it again.
* Without adequate social skills, the victims actions will likely enrage their tormentor, as will attempts to end it by becoming assertive. The aggressors goal is to achieve power and feel good about themselves by dominating others.
* Many of the kids who are victimized do not have friends.

It is a common belief that most bullying occurs on playgrounds, in lunchrooms, and bathrooms, on school buses or in unsupervised halls, but the acts often occur in class, when the educators are not looking. Alerted to the incident by the sounds of conflict, they see only the retaliation and the victim is suspended and/or punished.

If the assaults don't stop after seeking assistance from the child's teacher or the school guidance counselor, its time to demand that the school administrators use every means possible to protect your child. They can copy programs used by other schools and communities to help combat bullying and increase adult supervision. If that does not end the torment, it may be necessary to demand that they video monitor the classrooms and places where the attacks occur to establish who is the instigator and victim..

The schools often offer to change the victims placement, to separate them from their attacker, but this rewards the wrongdoer and penalizes the victim. The aggressor should immediately be removed from ANY situation where they may come into contact with their victim.

Were these activities perpetrated upon adults by adults, the crimes involved would include, assault, assault and battery if physical force is used, harassment, stalking and terrorism, if multiple victims are involved. Being minors does not remove them from the protection of or prosecution by the legal system. If the incidents continue, notify the police and file a complaint against the attacker. You can also request an Order of Protection from the court that will establish rules about how far apart the attacker will have to stay from the victim, which the school will have to enforce.

Should your school continue to offer psycho-babble and fail to take appropriate action, the US Dept of Education has the Office of Civil Rights, which has lawyers and investigators who will compel the district to do what is necessary to protect the rights of the victims.

Hi eduadvocate, and welcome to IAN.

I know this is a topic of interest to many individuals on the autism spectrum and their families. I have heard not just from parents about this issue, but from adults with ASD who feel these experiences worsened their ability to cope later in life.

There has been some interesting recent research on bullying and children on the autism spectrum.

One study found that children with ASD and ADHD were at much higher risk for bullying than children with just ASD or typical children: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17512887?dopt=abstract

(Among families participating in IAN Research, children with Asperger's syndrome have been reported to have been "diagnosed with or treated for ADHD" much more often than children with autism or PDD-NOS. They are also know to have more conduct problems and co-occurring anxiety or depression - just as the bullied children in this study were. I have to wonder if the difference in this study was less to do with ADHD, per se, and more to do with a different ASD profile and perhaps a more frequent placaement in a regular classroom without support.)

Another addressed the problem of misinterpretation by children with ASD, whether they were bullying and not recognizing their own behavior as so hurtful, or being bullied and not always recognizing the malicious intent of the other person: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19669402?dopt=abstract

Research on bullying and ASD is definitely needed, especially in the realm of how to successfully intervene.