Link to OAR's "A Guide for Transition to Adulthood"

The Organization for Autism Research recently published "A Guide for Transition to Adulthood." Click on the following link and scroll down to the bottom of the page to access this free resource:

http://www.researchautism.org/resources/reading/index.asp

I have noticed that most of the posts are from folks with small children & would LOVE some feedback on transitioning my son into adulthood.
My son Zak is 17 and was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was 9. He has always been in developmental classes in school with MANY different classifications.
He is high functioning, just recently rec'd a drivers permit thru school, which totally freaks me out! It's not that he's a bad driver, but I don't know how he would react to an emergency situation. Has anyone had these issues? I would appreciate any & all input.
Zak also hangs with kids that are about 8-9 years old. I don't see a problem with this, but I am concerned for the future. His friends all have outgrown him & ultimately treat him badly because of his disabilities. I have recently been turning these younger kids away for 1 reason. I think that eventually someone is going to take him for a pedophile and I don't even want to have to go there.
Can anyone help me?

Hi mama chelle, and welcome to IAN.

I think you will find more and more information on teens and young adults in addition to all we have on children on our forum. The IAN "Adult with Autism Spectrum Disorders" surveys will launch in April 2009 (after we make improvements based on the pilot surveys up now)...so more and more adults and their families will be involved on IAN Community. See: http://www.iancommunity.org/cs/ian_research/adult_pilot_survey

UPDATE: The surveys have launched! To read about them, see: http://www.iancommunity.org/cs/ian_research/adult_surveys

I myself have a 14 year old, and am all too aware that adult issues are just over the horizon. You are so correct that one issue these children face is a "social-emotional" lag... they are far behind their peers in terms of social-emotional maturity and need time to catch up. Often, for example, they are not ready to leave home at 18 as some (but not all) typical children are. They are just not there yet. Just as you observed, this social developmental lag creates other issues - like wanting to hang out with younger children because that's where you are, socially speaking. One thing that has been helpful for my son, I can say, is friendships with other kids who are on the spectrum, or "quirky." (As you may have read in our Social Skills Groups Research Report, making friends can be one important side effect of participation in such a group.) Even a few people to call or be with once in awhile can make a difference as far as social isolation goes, and age is not such an issue if they are all lagging behind a little bit.

You may want to sign up for our e-newsletter, if you haven't already. (You do that under "Manage Your Preferences" when you're logged in on the site.) The e-newsletter comes every 8 weeks or so, and it's there that we announce the latest articles, including those focused on adults. By the way, there's a new article coming out very soon by Asperger's expert Tony Attwood on intimate relationships, sexuality, and dating.

to the woman who has a 17 year old, I am in a somewhat similar situation, my son is 21 and is floundering.

He goes to community college part time but is not really functioning really well in the outside world.
He keeps to himself, is a loner, I worry about him.

He gets very sensitive when I try to help and says that nothing is wrong, he's happy, etc.

What can I do at this point? He chooses not to believe that anything is wrong, but I feel definitely otherwise...
any ideas?

Hi chris2009, and welcome to IAN.

It is truly a challenge for families trying to navigate the adult world, whether that means college or the work place or a day placement.

One thing that might be helpful is finding other parents in the same boat. The major autism advocacy organizations are giving more and more focus to adult issues, and support groups for parents of adults do exist. These can be an excellent source of information on issues like whether to apply for disability services, whether the adult needs to be under guardianship or can function as an independent adult, or how to find help with job coaching or issues at college.

Your local chapter of the Autism Society of America would be one place to check whether there is such a group in your area: http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=community_chapters

Autism Speaks just launched a whole new section on adult issues: http://www.autismspeaks.org/community/family_services/adult_initiatives.php

One thing is certain: you are definitely not walking this particular road alone.

My son expressed the most self-aware statement to me that I have ever herd him say. When I asked him if he wanted to learn how to drive, He said "I don't want to drive because the characters in my head might distract me, and I could have an accident and hurt someone." I dont worry about him wanting to drive, but I always worry about him having a life of his own with the support he needs to function as independantly as possiable.
My son is 18, and has autism. He was DX in 1993. He is graduating this spring and I have been looking for a support program for him for many years now. Time is tight and E. TN has few or no resources. Voc. Rehab, finialy gave me some hope. Continuing his education with a program geared to his special abilities, and his interests is possiably on the horizon. If this dosn't pan out, I am back to square one in looking for help to educate, and transition my son in to adulthood and the possiability independance. how do i find other parents of adult austic children in my area?

Hi ladyblue, and welcome to IAN.

Transition to adulthood is a very challenging time for many families of children on the spectrum.

There are, in some chapters of the Autism Society of America, support groups for adults with ASD, or for parents of adults with ASD, or both. You might want to see what your local chapter has to offer: http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=community_chapters

If you are working with your state disabilities office, or other departments (like Vocational Rehab) that work with many adults with ASD, you may want to ask them if they know of any groups or resources for families of adults or for the adults themselves.

If you find there is absolutely nothing in your area, you may want to consider starting something! In my experience, many of the programs and local support groups that exist were started by individuals with ASD or their families. Once you begin something, you can spread the word through your other contacts - the disabilities office, the ASA, etc.

My best wishes to you and your son.

Hi, this really touches home with me for I was the same way as your son when I was his age, except I didn't play with younger kids.
When I was 17 my mind was like that of a 10 year old when it came to understanding things, like when my friends were getting their drivers license, they were talking about going on dates. I on the other hand was simple getting my license to drive, there was no thoughts or feelings to connect with what was going thru their minds.
One of the things which has sit be aside from other kids with my condition was that I took risk without thinking it was a risk. A child has to at some point in their life or they will not experience failure or success.
Be patience find ways to expose him to new enviroments or places where he might start a conversation with somebdy his age.
He has the potential all he needs is a new place to connect with other people his age.
My wife after 29 years of marriage is finally getting to feel my new found feelings which I share with her. At 17 I had no feeling of affection to show to any one not even my mother and yet, here I am today feeling something special I have never experienced.
Do you have any friends who have a daughter, you could take him and her on a double date to be an example ad allow him to experience the feeling of being with a girl. Then when you get home you will have something to talk about.
My problem growing up was my mind never looked back on an experience no matter how nice or bad.
All he needs is a tiny little feeling and it will grow. In my world of living with AS there is no such thing as failure