Messages posted by: Esmom

My son is taller and heavier (now just verging on looking slightly overweight although he's still in the normal range) than most of his peers. (But he's almost a full year older than most of his classmates...because of his birthday and developmental issues we didn't want him to be one of the youngest kids in his class so instead he's one of the oldest.)

He also has very low muscle tone and struggles with running and climbing and the kinds of "natural kid exercise" most typical kids like to do. I think he'd be naturally pretty sedentary if we hadn't discovered that he loves swimming and cycling. So he's swimming on a swim team in the winter and routinely goes for long (2-3 hour) bike rides in the summer with his cyclist father. And I think his stamina for those activities comes less from natural athletic ability but more from his tendency to perseverate -- if that makes sense.

Along with presumably managing his weight, the exercise seems to keep him more neurologically organized than when he doesn't exercise.

By continually reinforcing healthy eating and regular exercise, we hope that weight won't be an issue. Luckily he eats a variety of foods and up until recently I didn't feel a need to control portions. Interestingly he was a picky eater until he began taking sertraline to manage his anxiety at about age 5 -- within weeks he ate more foods in a month than he had eaten in years. I describe him upon starting the meds as someone who finally let himself open up and engage with the world and trying new foods fit right in with that new, less rigid (and much happier) child.

My son, who's almost 10 and was first diagnosed with an ASD at about 2, has been involved in various social skills interventions over the years and while it's hard to say just how effective they have been in his continued progress, I'd say generally they were worth the time (and lucky for us most of the costs have been covered by our insurance).

When he was younger (2, 3, 4 years old) he was involved with groups at the clinic where he went for OT. The groups were led by an OT and a psychology student and were very sensory integration focused, which was great for my son's particular needs. He learned some basic skills -- following schedules, taking turns, etc. But I think he learned to enjoy the social contact with his peers, as distant as it was, in an environment where he felt safe and understood. And I really enjoyed getting to know the parents of kids who were "similar' to mine -- this was before websites and blogs and other online outlets made it easier to find parent support.

With those early groups, it was easy to see that the kids had a hard time generalizing what they learned outside the clinic environment. For example we once all got together at a park for a picnic and the kids barely acknowledged each other. And what we thought were decent relationships really didn't go anywhere outside the groups/clinic.

Now for the past couple years my son has been involved with a summer social skills group led by a social worker and speech therapist. He LOVES it. Again, while I'm not sure he's been very effective at applying what he's learning to outside situations, he is just so happy to be with a group of liked-minded kids and looks forward to going every week. So it's been good for his self-esteem, which in turn has helped him in school and other novel social situations.

Another avenue of social skills training has been in school. As part of his IEP, he also receives support outside his regular classroom with a special ed resource teacher for 1-2 periods a day. Along with helping him with academics, which he generally does well with, she has had a "skills" group for the past couple of years, where they talk about issues, fears and problems (bullying, for example), role play and write social stories.

At first my son was hesitant and self-conscious about being segregated from his typical classmates but over time he has relaxed about it (It helps that more kids have been diagnosed and added to the special ed group) and come to rely on it as a place where he feels safe and comfortable -- and at times even proud when he and his "skills" group have been able to present what they've learned to other kids. It's almost become regarded as a privilege to go to the resource room rather than a stigma. (I say "almost" because there are certainly still kids who marginalize the "special" kids but overall the vibe at the school is very inclusive).

Social communication for my son is still extremely difficult but ever so slowly he is finding it less of a chore. He is less anxious than he used to be. And slowly he is becoming more comfortable with who he is compared to his peers. Again it's hard to say just how much these social skills interventions have helped but I think of it as an important element of the many other interventions we have cobbled together over the years.

While I reported a loss of expressive language that was very clear and momentous -- my son had about half a dozen words and then literally went mute at about 18 months (I remember exactly when it happened) -- I think it's important to note that up until then his development was just not quite typical. He reached milestones like sitting, crawling and walking on the late end of the normal range, yet I couldn't help but notice that he just didn't seem all that interested in reaching those milestones, if that makes sense. While he was able to engage with people close to him, he often acted completely oblivious to strangers and was either over- or under-reactive to outside stimuli. For example someone could pop a balloon in his face and he would appear not to notice. Or he would get excited and agitated about a far-off train whistle that most people could barely hear. Or we'd participate in a mom-baby music class and he would walk the perimeter of the room and barely participate. I couldn't put my finger on it at the time -- and people said I was crazy to think anything was wrong -- but he just didn't engage with the world like most other kids seemed to. Thankfully he eventually regained his words and has been improving over the years with lots of therapy but those days were very scary indeed.